An Ultrasound Pic...

...and this is definitely not the kind of ultrasound picture I imagined to be carrying out of a doctor's office at this point in our marriage (if you catch my drift).

I went to see the surgeon for my post-op appointment yesterday, armed with a list of questions. I wanted to make sure we were pursuing the right avenues with the next doctor (i.e. determining FOR SURE whether these tumors are cancerous or not). He assured me that the doctor he is referring me to in San Francisco is a world-renowned orthopedic oncologist who specializes in dealing with sarcomas and other types of benign cysts. I voiced my concern over wanting to get this situation under control in the next five months, before grad school starts. He reminded me that my case is very rare (as many of the surgeons he consulted with had never heard of such a thing), and that it would be in my best interest to seek the best possible care for myself, regardless of the timeline.

Unfortunately, the best medical professional for dealing with my condition is not a preferred provider with our health insurance company, so now I'm in the midst of making phone call after phone call to my insurance company to try and obtain a pre-certification to be treated by an outside provider and therefore be covered at the higher level. Ugh.

In the meantime, here's a picture of my ultrasound.

The way the doctor explained it to us is that these tumors are going to be especially difficult to remove because of their placement below the muscle but on top of bone (my rib cage).

I can slowly feel the panic starting to set in. I've been fighting it for awhile, but I feel as if a meltdown is inevitable.

I still am encouraged by the fact that my doctor's speculation is that this is something benign and harmless. And I know that, whatever the following months may bring, with the grace of God, we will lean on our faith and get through this. I guess my anxiety stems from the fact that school starts in less than five months, and I was hoping to be done with this by that point. And don't even get me started about the financial aspect of this situation. Seeking the best possible care could cost us thousands and thousands of dollars (especially if our insurance decides to cover my treatment the outside provider level). I know, I know, you can't put a price on your health. But the fact of the matter is that obtaining the treatment I need could come at the cost of my continuing education. We absolutely cannot afford a huge hospital bill and grad school tuition. It's not even a possibility.

::Randi begins breathing into paper bag::

Keep those optimistic thoughts coming; I have a feeling we are really going to need them in the next few months.