The Gratitude Project

I've seen several blog writers participating in a projects which revolve around giving thanks during the month of November.  After having spent the last month discussing nothing but grief and sadness, I feel like it would be good to switch gears for the month of November, and do some posts on the many blessings in our lives that we have to be thankful for.  I don't know if I have the stamina to post every single day, but I'm going to try to create some posts that discuss the many things that we have to be thankful for (some of which have arisen out of losing our daughter). 

So here we go, post #1 of the Gratitude Project. 

Today, I am thankful for the newfound simplicity in my life.  Over the last few weeks, I've done a lot of emotional "housecleaning", taking stock of what I have in my life that's just not working for me anymore.  I have enough in my life that brings me down.  I have enough heartache, sadness, and grief.   I have no more mental space for anything that no longer brings me happiness or joy.  I've learned so much about myself throughout my grief process.  I've learned that it's okay to be selfish.  I've learned to be gentle and let myself off the hook.  I've learned that I can let others off the hook as well, because not everyone in my life is going to be able to give me what I need right now, and that's ok.  I've learned to not take things so personally.  And you know what?  I feel good.  I feel like I'm living again, rather than just existing.  The grief is still there, waiting in the shadows to sneak up on me when I'm least expecting it.  But I have more good days than bad lately, and I think a large part of that has to do with letting go of the excess and simplifying, getting rid of the BS.  And I truthfully don't think I would have been brought to this point if we hadn't lost Virginia.  So I have her to thank for showing me what's really important.  I am so grateful for that.