Vacation Eve

Christmas has taken on such a different meaning for us this year.  I remember the excitement and anticipation that typically surrounded Christmas as a child.  It was so fun and exciting and carefree then.  Just presents and Santa and family and food and fun.  But as I've gotten older, Christmas has changed.  The stress of buying gifts for everyone on my list, scrambling around and getting just the right thing, rushing to make an appearance at all of the parties and celebrations.  Much of the original meaning began to slowly diminish.   The gifts, although fun to give and receive, are not what's important.  What's important is family and spending time with those you love the most.  It's an interesting paradox this year.  Christmas is about family more than ever, yet here we are preparing to celebrate this holiday in the absence of both of our families.  Our idea of family has changed this year.  We are our own little family.  We always have been, but never has that been more clear than this year, the year we both expanded and then shrunk back down again.  For 9 months, there were three.  And now, we are back to two.  I don't quite know how to make sense of that, and Christmas this year serves as a solemn reminder of the major transitions that have happened within our own small family. 

For the first time in my entire life, I've been a Scrooge about the holidays this year.  Up until pretty recently, I didn't want to put up a tree, decorate, attend any Christmas parties, or even acknowledge this holiday, the first major milestone of many without our sweet daughter.  All of that changed when we started receiving some wonderfully thoughtful gifts from those close to us, a few of which are ornaments.  About two weeks ago, we decided to drag out our little Charlie Brown fake Christmas tree and decorate it with ornaments from our own childhoods, along with ornaments and gifts given to us for Virginia.  Here are a few pics:

 "The ones we love never truly leave us"

Tomorrow, we leave for the Caribbean, so I'll be off the grid for awhile.  Five days of sun, relaxation, and no worries.  Ya, mon. 

During the holidays this year, please remember to cherish each moment with those close to you.  Hold them close, tell them how you feel about them.  Be present in that moment and try not to get caught up in the chaos and stress.  And if you get a moment, say a little prayer for us and for others who find themselves struggling during this time of year. 

Merry Christmas to you all. 

Love and light,