F.R.O.Z.E.N.

What a productive day I had today! I preoccupied myself with all kinds of activities to keep my body (and brain) as busy as possible. I did about 6 loads of laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, and mopped the kitchen floor. I'm almost embarrassed to say that we hadn't cleaned since before my family came 3 weekends ago! So it was a much needed, deep clean. All day long, I've had all this crazy drive to get things done. Only when I stopped to sit and relax did I realize that my Energizer Bunny go-getter attitude today is really just the result of nervous energy. The pit in my stomach confirms it.

My mom called today to ask if I had followed-up with the doctor about my test results. I was told to call the office either today or tomorrow. The excuse that I made to her, and to myself, was that I was too busy today and that if I didn't hear from them by the end of the day, I would for sure call tomorrow. I even picked up my phone to dial the numbers, but I completely froze.

Once Pat got home from work today, I came to the conclusion that I haven't called because I wanted to enjoy my last 24 hours of "freedom", so to speak. My life could potentially change drastically with these test results, and all I wanted was 24 more hours to live my regular life. One more day to go about business as usual. So we enjoyed a long walk after dinner, and we're now relaxing on the couch, getting ready for our favorite night of TV. And for now, I'm pretending that tomorrow is just another day, not the day that could change things forever.